My Public Diary

April 6^th, 2012

Thinking of you makes I can’t sleep even a second…

Hey, know this… My heart stills yours.

I have seen you since that time, so far. And I don’t have to tell you what’s or how’s my feeling right now. I’m too afraid. Or, could it be – shy and embarrassed –. At reason, there were things I didn’t want to show. But then...

 I didn’t know what I should show. Still; I love you those days, and would be the following days.

April 9^th, 2012

My mind is restless! [Give me a break!]

At late these days, I couldn’t sleep well. Should it be the inconvenience of circumstances? Or maybe – stressed out – and excessive stress. Just simple, I felt uncomforting with one situation. And I got myself in no mood for doing anything. But these things were too important to did, so I forced myself – just like what they said to me –. Try to enjoy living this tiny life… J

At reason we live the short life, we must enjoy this.

(Don’t get yourself at under pressure.)

April 13^th, 2012

I think admiration is different from love…

Yeah, that’s true. But so many people said that love began with admiration. “He’s cute.” (That’s for example – maybe). I think those are not work for me. For ugly girl – like me – I felt so… Yeah, you know, “Extremely not suitable.” I admire him, that’s not why I love him. I love him, because of his weakness. Because of his simple did. Because the way he does his own simplicity life. And it ended with simple smile by this ugly girl. (MeJ)

This world is just fair, don’t you ever put it in any uncertainty.

April 16^th, 2012

That Saturday was great! (April 14^th, 2012)

He did a simple thing for me. By that occasion, I felt my mind & heart flew in to the air. So amazing! What a great day, saw him from that far even when he closed to me – was so worthy for me. Seems like he enjoyed talking with his friends… I want he keep that on! I want to see those smiles again someday.

Yeah, my status update… (I hope through every day by day passed by… You still being yourself don’t ever change; for me, those wonderful smiles still yours. All that I need is, “Chance to be with you.” Just you and me~)

April 20^th, 2012

I began thinking of you, and I’m starting fond of check your latest activity. I began to act myself as a stalker. Why did I do that? If you know the reality, you would – keep away from me no matter how I explain what the true is –. Hey, I like you. I try to change “This” (I mean, “Me!”) to be a better person just for you. I act as a stalker to find out what’s girl such your type is. Just acting, that’s pointless. So, supposedly… You like a girl that has full of cuteness already. Yes, so I don’t have any. So, what should I do? I’m not willing to act like personally type. That’s too hard, remembering who I am. Is there a little dispensation? I’d like to show you who I really am.

Just for you, who makes me felt sleepless at night, maybe?

(I write already this late… 12:37 am.)

April 21^st, 2012

I have a restless body and mind. So I keep that positive thinking on. (So what supposedly the hell I’m saying about!?)

At that time, I felt so regret, why didn’t I just help you? Because of this foolish mind, I couldn’t show you who I really am. Yeah, feels regret is nothing! Besides thinking of you, I must make my score better. They keep hope; I must be a successful person. There’s still a long way. I keep burning so I can shine like a sun. I got to think you are my motivator. If I keep on thinking of you more and more, the more I keep on, more motivation for me.

You’ve got me so conscious!

April 22^nd, 2012

You know; even in a daze, I only called you. Miss you. Yeah, I’m missing you now. Although at times my heart pained, I can’t stop thinking of you. Cause you live inside of me. I can’t do anything. What can be done? If you sticking up right there; at the top of my mind?

Since you there, I kept complained. I kept protested against you. When will you leave my bleeding mind? All my feelings are up to blended right now.

A song translation for you:

… There’s no light in the room where there is no sun and there is no sun if you’re not here with me, with me.

(My heart still felt fond of you!)

April 26^th, 2012

There were so many realities those I need to realized:

1. She likes you

2. She possibly love you

3. She loves you

4. She really loves you

5. She wants you

6. She really wants you

7. She fond of you

8. She really fond of you

9. She gets your attention

10. She really gets your attention

11. She can’t live without you

12. She really 1000x can’t live without you

13. I hope she is dead right now!

How could she attract you? Until you become like this? Yeah, I answer my own. She is beautiful, pretty, cute, shorter than me, but her face is awfully arrogant. I don’t like this kind of girl. Brother, if you want a reality, keep it in mind. Don’t choose her bro! She really wants to get you’re demanded. Argh, how could you be this extremely troublesome!?

Fooled You!!!

May 4^th, 2012

Long time… I haven’t seen you. I hope angels protect you. Trouble neglects you. You get everything that you want. Okay, maybe another time.

May 12^th, 2012

God thanks. You’re so kind. You let me be with him today. That’s so valuable. I’m too nervous. That moment, I don’t know what I should do. I’m too panic. Yup, I got myself messed up with those things. What? I showed my weakness. What an epic fail! But I’m happy, no matter what happens! Though I got my – a hell like – ashamed time, I’m okay.

But those entire happy and bright mood suddenly weak down to the ground when “She” tagged him a note. What the … Ah, I don’t care. If I care with those – hell like – activities, I would waste my time already. Huh?

For you: You didn’t catch me when I was falling; you ignored me when I was facing the crucial problem. You didn’t put your hand out for anything that I used to ask. You couldn’t heal my hazy wound.

I’m happy but hell! I’m still thinking negatively about you!